Level Name- Duke's Hellhole v2.0 Filename- Hellhole.map Author- Overlord Joe E-Mail- xiaogui@pipeline.com URL- http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Arena/8442/index.html Author Stuff- I'm sort of human, if you can call me that. Works with - Duke 3D v1.3D+ Story- Duke is getting old. Real old. Right now, he's sitting on his porch with his long time pals, an aging Lo Wang and a nameless retired Space Marine. In the streets in front of him, a bunch of boys just ripped a bra off of a lady and are running around with it. Marine - Look at those youngsters runnin around like they own that poor girl's bra! Duke - Why, back in my day, we offered a lady some MONEY before we ripped off her bra, and we were happy the way it was! Lo Wang - Damn straight! Marine - Hey, did I ever tell you guys 'bout the time I saved the earth from an invasion from Hell? Lo Wang - Only about million time. Duke - Bullshit. Marine - There I was! Face to face with the most Godforsaken incarnations in all of Satan's army... Duke - Bullshit! Marine - Nothing but one shot left in my BFG 9000, ready to take on the dreaded Spider Demon... Duke - BULLSHIT!! Lo Wang - [wants to hear the story] Shut up Duke, or I smak'a your ass! Marine - What the hell are you talking about? Duke - What the hell are YOU talking about? Marine - What??? Duke - GOD and DEMONS, all a bunch of bullshit. Now aliens, they're for real! I remember when... Lo Wang - Oh, here we go again... Marine - How don you know they're not for real? Ever battle Hell's army? Every have to kill a horde of imps and barons with your bear hands? *I* had to go through the depths of the INFERNO!... And you say it's a bunch of bullshit! Duke - It probably is. Never gave a bottle of jack for all that Heaven and Hell stuff anyway. Marine - I wanna see YOU shoot the undead crap out of a cacodemon once in a while! You don't know what true pain is!! Duke - That doesn't matter!! There still ain't no such thing as God and demons and whatever the F*$# you say is runnin' around making a mess on whatever... Marine - There is too! You just wait and see! Duke - No there isn't, you inspiration for birth control! Marine - Lo Wang, help me our here! Lo Wang - Lo Wang doesn't believe in heaven or hell. Duke - See! Lo Wang - Lo Wang believes in Nirvana. Ummmmmmmmmmmmm...... [Kneels down meditating] Duke - This is really pissing me off! Marine - You just wait till you're dead and you'll have to face Hell head on without any plasma rifle at your side! Duke - WELL, IF THERE TRULY IS A GOD, THEN WHY DON'T HE JUST COME DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW AND ZAP THE HECK OUT OF ME?? [The sky suddenly goes dark and a lighting bolt flies out of the sky, knocking Duke dead] Marine - Right bastard. I told ya so! [In heaven] Duke - Ooo. What's with all the white lights? Saint Peter - Greetings, Duke. Duke - Oh damn. Saint Peter - How'd you guess? Duke - Uh... I guess I'm not getting into heaven. Saint Peter - [falls over laughing hysterically] AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Duke - ... Saint Peter - Uheh, (chuckle) YOU wouldn't get into heaven, even if HAHAHA!! Even if YOU were the son of God! AHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! Duke - So? Damn me already! Saint Peter - Not so fast bullet boy. You see, even though you spent your entire life partying with naked chicks and getting drunk, you did save the earth six or seven times, so you have to be worth something. Duke - So what the heck am I doing here? Saint Peter - YOU... have to go to hell no matter what. Wether or not you kick ass or get your ass kicked in entirely up to you. Duke - What do you mean? Saint Peter - We're a gonna send you down to Hell. There, you will have to face a test of the flesh, which you will most likely fail. You'll have nothing more powerful than a shotgun or chaingun to battle Satan's lower military ranks. Duke - How many of these, "lower military ranks"? Saint Peter - Oh, about two hundred or so, plus a bunch of nasty traps and such, nothing a lost soul like you couldn't handle for a few centuries. Duke - ... Saint Peter - AHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!! YEAH RIGHT! YOU'LL PROBABLY BE DEAD IN AN INSTANT! HAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!! Duke - DAMN ME ALREADY! Saint Peter - Whew! Well, if you pass the test, you'll get to sit out eternity. Eventually some other guys will die and come join you, but it will still won't be as good as heaven. BUT, if you do fail the test, then you must get rid of Satan's army or else they'll kill your soul and you'll unwillingly join the Reich of the undead. Duke - What happens if do I beat Satan's army? Saint Peter - Well, then you get to run around in Purgatory for eternity. Some other guys might get there, but I'm not guaranteeing anything. Duke - That's it? Saint Peter - Well, there is a way to escape Hell, a portal in a hidden area in a sacrificial tower. But the odds of you finding a way to unlock it is incredibly unlikely. But if you do find it, you'll return to Earth unscratched. Duke - Just a though, Pete - Are there any dancing chicks and beer in heaven? Saint Peter - No, there are no dancing chicks or beer in heaven. Duke - Ooo. I guess I'm damned no matter what... [ZAP!] **********Play Info************** Signal Player- Uh-huh CO-OP- Nuh-uh Dukematch- Nope Episode/Level- Episode Sh, Level It Difficulty- Pretty Hard as it is, but nothing is set New Music- Sweet Dreams by Marilyn Manson New Sounds- None whatsoever New Art- Neigh *******BUGS! READ FIRST! DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU!****** None that I know of except for the usual bugs from the game. If you find any contact me. ************Miscellaneous********** This is my second working level, which evolved out of a recreation of an old DOOM level. Since I couldn't convert the Doom map properly, I just designed a new level with some elements taken from Doom. Also, the mazes in this level is something right out of Myst or Riven, and just like those two, you might need a strategy guide to figure out what you're doing. But if you're smart and you keep your eyes open, the main problem will be conserving ammo and killing guys, not getting stuck in the mazes. NEW ENEMIES: Not actually, but they're still cool. Imp: (liztrooper shaded all red) They're hungry for vengance after their defeat by the Doom guy. They infest most every region of hell. Shadow Demon: (transparent pigcop shaded all black) Lost souls that inhabit the hallways of the Bile Maze. Beware their powerfull blast of black energy. Belizabub: (Lizman on Palette 19, I think) Fierce guardians of the gates of Hell. They don't like puny mortals roaming around on their turff. Heccubus: (Fat commander) Souless hellspawns that don't know much. But what they do know, they do good. E.g. kill, murder, destroy... Also be on the lookout for: The Whore of Babylon: (Dancing chick) Will try to temp you into damnation. Satan: (Subliminal messages) He's just freakin' everywhere! God: (You'll see) Or, what Satan wants you to believe happened to God. OBEY! Other people who helped- -Polly, who is the only person I know, besides I, who beat this level. -Bernanka, who complained about all the enemies he couldn't kill. -Russka, who died on purpose just to be one with Satan. -Time and space, who caused my computer to crash while using EDITART. -Monty Python, Gary Larson, Weird Al Yankovic, Johnny Carson and Hoho, the drunken immigrant, for without them, I am nothing. Forgive the grammar: So right now, it's 1999 already and I made this in '96 but no one went to Medpage, so I'm uploading this to Dukeworld. If you like this, download my other maps on my site and respond with any comments or whatever. http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Arena/8442/index.html
